


Sanders Camp

by abeecperson



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29884200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abeecperson/pseuds/abeecperson
Summary: Camp Camp but Sanders Sides.Will follow the basic script of each episode but some will be changed.
Kudos: 1





	Sanders Camp

A man and a child stood outside the entrance to Camp Sanders. The kid wore a purple and black hoodie, black eyeshadow under his eyes and he had dyed, purple hair. The man wore a light blue shirt with the camp’s logo in the centre, khaki shorts and a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders. The scowl one wore and the bright smile the other contrasted with one another, perfectly showing their opposite personalities.

“Can you believe it, Virgil? We're getting not one, not three, but two new campers today!”

Patton held up his fingers, corresponding to each number he was saying. His very animated movements making him look like a cartoon character.

“Yup. It's really, truly horrifying,”

The ten-year-old was almost completely still as he spoke, apart from his frown (which sometimes deepened) and the glances to Patton.

“Horrifying? What, are you afraid of making a few new friends?”  
  


The man ruffled Virgil’s hair, only to be roughly pushed off by the angsty teenager who held a horrified expression on his face. Patton was a little shocked at the small act of violence but swiftly shook it off, the joyous man was used to Virgil’s antics.

“I'm not here to make friends, Patton. I'm here because camp is where kids are sent when their parents don't want to deal with them. Why do you think we return the favour when they hit seventy?”

Throughout his small speech of defiance, Virgil desperately tried to fix his bright, purple hair, only managing to calm the storm down a little bit.

“Hang on a sec, what are you even doing out here?”

A stern look and a finger were directed at Virgil, clearly suspicious about the boy’s intentions.

“Well, it's definitely not because the bus only comes in from the city to drop off and pick-up campers. And so far, seems to be my only reasonable method of escaping this fucking nightmare of a camp. Definitely not that,”  
  


The preteen made his intentions clear with a monologue and a sarcastic remark.

“Hey... language,”

Ignoring Virgil’s speech, Patton instead decided to point out the vulgar language the ten-year-old had used.

“Suck a dick- “

Virgil was cut off by two hands securing themselves on the sides of his stomach and being swooped into the air.

“All I want is for you kids to have as much fun as I did when I was a Sanders camper. Is that really too much to ask?”

Patton was met with Virgil’s unimpressed gaze as he held the small boy so that their eyes could meet.

“I refuse to believe someone as happy as you can possibly exist,”  
  


A loud honking noise caused Patton to drop Virgil onto the floor as the man excitedly clapped his hands together, his eyes practically sparkling.

“The bus is here!”

The man ran towards the bus, his hand waving in the air as he did so.

“Hello, welcome to Camp-”

Patton screamed as the bus hit him, causing him to tumble to the ground at the sheer force of the large vehicle. The bus door opened to reveal the two new campers, however, the two each had peculiar features to them. One wore a dark blue tie and round boxy glasses; he was the definition of nerd. The other had a drawn-on moustache, purple eyeshadow all around his eyes and a dark green shirt, the kind you would expect a princess to wear in a Disney movie. The Quartermaster sat in the driver’s seat as he usually did so.

“Kids are here,”

With an ecstatic ‘ha’, the one with the moustache jumped out of the vehicle, landing right in front of Virgil. The weird child took in a deep breath with his hands on his hips.

“Oh yeah, smell that nature! Oh, that's the stuff,”

With a dazed expression, Patton picked himself off the floor and attempted to balance himself, shaking his head in the process.

“Well, hello there, little man. You must be Remus. My name is Patton, your camp- “

Patton was cut off; again, however, this time was from Remus aggressively biting the man’s hand, showing no remorse for the scream the older let out. The kid didn’t release their teeth’s hold on the man, despite him shaking his arm in a desperate attempt to get him off his arm.

“Excuse me? [I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGAswTnJgkc#t=98s)s this Science Camp?”

The child wearing the tie stood awkwardly to the side, clearly puzzled at the other, obnoxious kid.

“No, dork! This is Adventure Camp. Ad-ven-ture! My mom said so! Unless she was lying. Again. Sorry about that hand by the way. Just exerting dominance, you know how it goes,”

Remus spoke with a slight crazed tone to his voice, his eyes wide as he apologised to Patton, finally letting go of the poor counsellor’s hand.

“Uh, and you must be Logan. Well, you two will be happy to know that Camp Sanders is both of th- “

Yet again, the man was cut off by the bus hitting him in the side, screaming as he found his familiar spot on the floor. Max was sat in the driver’s seat, desperately attempting to reach the pedals but failing miserably.

“Stupid prepubescent legs!”

Quartermaster walked up to Virgil and grabbed him by the hood as the kid tried to grab onto the steering wheel, however, his attempts were futile.

“Not today, child. Only one driving this bus is me,”

Virgil was placed back onto the floor outside as quartermaster stared unimpressed at the counsellor.

“Ugh. Thank you, quartermaster,”

Though already tired of Virgil’s problem starting, Patton still thanked the quartermaster with a small smile.

“You're on your own, now. Going on break, be back for the bus at noon,”

The man held a mysterious bottle of foul-smelling liquid, but nobody cared enough to be suspicious of the quartermaster as he walked away and into the camp.

“Virgil, you are not leaving my side for the rest of the day,”

Patton crouched down to reach Virgil’s height and a stern look was sent the boy’s way.

“We'll see about that, camp man,”

Logan made his way to Virgil, the tie-wearing boy a head taller than him. The taller shuffled through some cards of paper he was holding before finding the one he was looking for and then placed them all into his pocket.

“What’s your ‘deal?’”

A sigh escaped the smaller’s lips as he ironically held a sad expression.

“I'm just a kid trying to survive out here, Logan,”

Virgil placed his hand on Logan’s shoulder as he shied away from the touch, clearly sceptical of the boy’s intentions.

“Now let's go check out the camp, kids!”

“The first stop on any good tour is the flagpole! I can't help but give it the official Camp Sanders salute every time I see it,”

Patton stopped his monologue to give the flag holding Camp Camp’s symbol a salute as the man was practically taken back to his childhood. The three stared at the counsellor with uninterested expressions, clearly waiting for him to get a move on.

“Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which- “

He cut himself off with another salute.

“Oh! Sorry, saw the flag again. Beside the flagpole is our mess hall, which is connected to the Quartermaster Store. It's here that we'll serve meals, hold announcements, and occasionally take part in camp activities. Tell 'em just how much you love it, Virgil!”

The man’s animated movements didn’t stop during his small speech, it was a miracle the man wasn’t constantly tired from all that moving.

“See, that's the sad thing. He still actually thinks that I love it,”

Virgil’s snarky comment fell on deaf ears (or the counsellor simply didn’t care) as Patton continued talking.

“And who wouldn't? Now, let's step inside and meet my co-counsellor Remy, who's in the middle of a camp activity right now! Oho man, you're gonna love her. Good morning, Remy!”

Patton opened the door to the mess hall and revealed a chaotic scene.

“Motherfucker!”

One kid was on the ceiling fan, spinning ‘round and ‘round as another kid controlled the switch. Remy, throwing sporks at the fan, was desperately trying to get the kid down, who’s screams were a little muffled by the weird helmet that was secured on his head. Despite the chaos, the other campers were doing their own thing, whether that was magic, acting or roleplay.

“Go! Crank it to high, I can take the G's,”

The child seemed to be enjoying his ride on the fan.

“43110, you don't crank shit! Get down from there, Space Kid!”

Looking at the scene before him, Patton muttered a small ‘oh dear’ and went to help his fellow counsellor.

“What is going on here?”

Logan looked slightly concerned at the wild children.

“I'm telling you, if we leave now, I can hot wire that bus,”

Virgil grabbed Logan’s arm, trying to convince him to leave with him, after all, two was more useful than one. Remus, however, had a different reaction as he stared around the room in awe.

“This is amazing!”

Remus grabbed Virgil’s arm, successfully pulling the three into the chaos. Patton pushed 43110 off the switch to the fan as he tried to make it stop.

“Buzzkill,”

The fan finally stopped as Space Kid fell onto the floor with a large thud and a small grunt.

“I’m okay,”

Making his way over to Remy, Patton spared a small to Space Kid’s small form on the floor.

“What the gosh darn heck happened?”

Remy looked on the verge of passing out from sheer stress as he attempted to answer Patton’s question.

“Ugh, space kids just, y'know, pushing me to my limits again,”

Despite still being in pain from dropping onto the floor, Space Kid still managed to talk without showing any pain in his voice.

“I will achieve space flight!”

Exasperated, Remy shook his head.

“Well, we have new campers to introduce and orientate!”

Patton grabbed two badges from his pocket that read ‘1ST DAY CAMPER’ and placed them simultaneously onto Logan and Remus’ shirts. Logan let out a small ‘ow’ at the force Patton used to put the sticker on.

“Jesus, that's right. Okay, let's... show them the video,”

The other counsellor rubbed his temples at the sheer idea of having to deal with two more campers.

“Actually, I was thinking I could play them that song I've been- “

The joyous man gently pulled out a guitar from seemingly nowhere, but Remy was quick to ignore it and shut down his idea.

“I'm gonna stop you, right there. No. I'll get the laser disk,”

Remy walked away to find the disk and Patton didn’t seem upset at the idea of not being able to play his new song.

“Okay! All you campers head over to the activities field for your afternoon sessions,”

Everyone groaned as they made their way out of the mess hall, Virgil trying to sneak out among them. However, he was grabbed by the hood of his hoodie and set on the floor beside Patton.

“Uh-uh. Not you, Virgil,”

A scowl of defeat took over his face as he softly spoke the word ‘damnit.’

“Will someone please talk to me about Science Camp? None of those kids looked like they know about science,”  
  


Logan straightened his tie as he spoke, clearly a comforting thing for his nerves.

“What about that astronaut kid?”

The tie-wearing boy looked appalled at Remus’ idea.

“Astronauts, the wannabe jocks of the scientific community? Please,”

A slight sassy tone made its way into Logan’s voice. Remy finally came back with a large disk clutched in his hands. He blew a pile of dust off it and promptly handed it to Patton.

“Don't you worry kiddos; this video will explain everything.”

Remy began to set up a small TV as Patton carried on speaking

“It was put together by our founder, Janus Sanders, back when I was an eager young camper just like yourselves! He was an absolute legend-- oh, sorry, is an absolute legend,”

A ladder fell from the ceiling as a man with a half-scarred face came down from it, clearly wearing his pyjamas. However, Patton didn’t notice. 

“A savvy businessman, extraordinary philanthropist, and one heck of an adventurer if I do say so myself,”

The man locked eyes with Remy and quickly scurried up the ladder. The three kids stared at the scene before them, confusion lacing their eyes.

“Oh, it's true, Mr. Sanders doesn't often have time to come visit the camp anymore. What with him travelling the globe and, I'm assuming, saving lives. But! He'll always live on in our hearts and minds,”

Now fully dressed in what some would consider a super villain to wear, the man once again climbed down the ladder.

“It's like the man always said: We're here to have a great summer, and campe diem! Oh, if only he were here now,”

The man walked towards Patton and placed a singular finger onto his shoulder.

“I'm definitely not here now,”

Despite his weird way of talking, Patton turned around a quite literally gasped in awe at the man.

“Mr. Sanders!? Wh-- what are you doing here, sir?”

Sanders let out a low chuckle with no humour behind it as he drawled out his next words.

“Well, I'm certainly not hiding from any authorities if that's what you're thinking,”  
  


It was as if Patton was a little kid again in the way he looked up to the older man.

“What?”

A slap on the back caused Patton to let go of all his confusion, the large smile overtaking his face once again.

“Come on, Padre. You think I'd miss the opportunity to welcome our new Sanders campers to Janus Sander's Camp Sanders?”

Remy obviously didn’t have the same respect for the man as Patton.

“You have for years, sir,”  
  


He placed his hand onto Remy’s shoulder as he struggled out of the man’s tight grip.

“Oh, Ryan, you slay me,”

With gritted teeth, Remy spat out their response.

“It’s… Remy,”

A smirk made its way onto Sander’s face, clearly finding amusement in calling Remy the wrong name.

“What did I say?”

Remus decided to interrupt the adult’s little reunion.

“Hey, villain guy? This is Adventure Camp, right?”

Logan also chimed in.

“Yeah, so far every attempt to answer our questions just raises more questions,”

Like he was talking to a three-year-old, Virgil responded with, yet another, snarky remark.

“Hey, good for you! You're starting to catch on!”

Another dry laugh was heard from Sanders.

“Do worry kids. These two will definitely not take you on a tour of our great camp and answer any questions you might have,”

A car screeched from outside as two men dressed in black suits left the car, muttering something unintelligible and holding an object in their ear.

“In fact, we shouldn’t go on that tour right now, all of us, together, away from this spot,”

“Here at Camp Sanders, we pride ourselves on the variety of our curriculum,”

All dotted around the yard, there were multiple little stations, each one representing a different camp.

“There's Extreme Sports Camp,”

A girl with dark, brown hair was riding a skateboard down a homemade skate ramp and promptly crashed through the side of it, a large hole appearing in the cardboard material.

“Magic Camp,”

A different kid with an orange beanie made a dove appear from their hands, before promptly getting a tomato thrown in his face by 43110.

“Space Camp,”

Space Kid sat in a cardboard rocket, losing his balance, and falling out of the box.

“Theatre Camp,”

A boy with a prince outfit on posed with a skull in his hand, before 43110, yet again, threw a tomato in the boy’s face.

“Art Camp,”

Drawing a dog, a boy, looking younger than the rest of them, looked happily at his painting.

“Other Magic Camp,”

Seemingly dressed in some sort of cosplay, another kid whacked the kid from magic camp with a prop sword and yelled out a magic spell.

“And lots more. Lots of stuff,”

Remy seemed to be done with explaining as he couldn’t be bothered to list the other, many camps.

“How much more stuff?”

The magical guitar was slowly being pulled out of nowhere again at Remus’ question.

“Well, I'm glad you asked, because I have a little song that I can sing- “  
  


Again, Remy didn’t let Patton sing his little song.

“No,”

The guitar was slowly put back to wherever it came from.

“When Remy's not around,”

Remy elected to ignore Patton’s statement and turned to Sanders.

“By the way, Mr. Campbell, now that you're here maybe we can discuss just exactly how we're meant to operate at this scale- “

Sanders pointed towards an area.

“Hey, is that kid trying to escape?”

Virgil was running away from the group and towards the bus, panting as he didn’t have much stamina. A knitted version of Virgil was placed sitting down in between Logan and Remus, surprisingly well done. However, it fell to the ground with a noticeable thud.

“If I can just get to that bus before it heads back!”

Virgil fell to the ground as he ran into a pair of pasty legs. Patton was in front of the boy, holding the knitted doll in his hand.

“Looks like knitting camp wasn't as stupid as someone said, huh, Virgil?”

Staring up at him, from the ground, Virgil gifted him an unimpressed stare.

“You are the bane of my existence,”

Patton grabbed Virgil and placed him under his arm, placing him down next to Remus after they returned to the group.

“Excuse me, what in the world is this?”

Logan gestured to a small stand with random equipment covering the table. Above it was a small sign labelled ‘SciEИcE!’

“Ah! I see you found it. That, my friend, is science camp!”

A piece of wood was knocked over as Patton spoke. Logan looked outraged at the counsellor’s words.

“This isn't what I signed up for! I just wanted Science Camp, not Science Camp and more! I don't want more!”

The tie-wearing kid held out the pamphlet that advertised Science Camp. Sanders patted Logan in the head and took the leaflet out of his hands. The man held a magnifying glass up to the paper.

“That’s why you should never read the fine print. Right there. And more. Now you can definitely sue us,”

Under the words ‘Science Camp’ in a microscopic font size were the words ‘and more…’ Remus pulled out his pamphlet advertising Adventure Camp and squinted below the two words. Yet again, there were those two tiny words.

“So, what? It's just some sort of Camp Camp?”

Remus seemed proud of himself for the play on words but was slightly disappointed that the camp wouldn’t just be about adventure.

“I would exactly call it out like that. But I suppose so,”

Sanders held a smile at the end of his sentence; however, it wasn’t exactly a friendly smile. However, nobody had time to think about it before Logan was speaking again.

“This is quite, utterly, bullshit,”

All of the campers stopped what they were doing and gawked at Logan.

“Woah, check out the balls on new kid,”

Virgil looked amused at the language from Logan, a small smile grazing is face.

“Where?”

Remus looked under his legs, thinking Virgil was talking about him.

“I don't know what kind of operation you think you're running, but I simply won't stand for it. I'm a man of science. Do you honestly think you can rummage together some outdated equipment and call it a laboratory?”

Another piece of wood fell over as Logan once again gestured to the pathetic excuse for Science Camp.

“Look, kid, I know it's not- “

Remy tried to reason with Logan, but Sanders interrupted him before he could continue.

“Stand down, Reece. I'll not speak to the children. I'm going to be somewhat honest with you. When I opened Camp Sanders all those years ago, I had one goal and one goal only. To create the most popular and successful summer camp in the world.But times have changed. Things like the internet, video games, and the Affordable Care Act are ruining this great camp of ours. And the children of today just aren't interested in a traditional summer camp. But our camp isn’t a traditional camp. So why settle for anything less?”

Patton shed a tear listening to Sander’s speech.

“You've got two acceptable counsellors, one hell of a Quartermaster, and endless possibilities here at Camp Sanders. And as long as I'm here- “  
  


The black car from earlier pulled up, running over Space Camp. The two men got out of the car and immediately began to fire gunshots at Sanders; however, the man grabbed Space Kid and used his helmet as a shield for the bullets. The scarred man began talking into his watch.

“Code black, code black,”

Out of nowhere, a helicopter stopped above Sanders with a ladder hanging out of the side. The man grabbed onto the ladder, throwing Space Kid in the process.

“Well, look at the time. I do not have go,”

Patton ran up to the man.

“Sir! Where are you going?”

The helicopter began to fly away from the camp, Sanders still firmly holding onto the rope ladder.

“Not to the nearest international waters, Padre. Have a terrible summer, children. And campe diem,”

As soon as Sanders was out of range, the two men stopped shooting, got into their car, and drove away.

“He seems nice,”

Remus smiled at Virgil, his opinion on Sanders was not shared with the rest of the group.

“Oh God it's coming back, the crippling anxiety and regret,”  
  


Remy ran away with his head in his hands, seemingly having some sort of anxiety attack.

“Uh, Remy?!”

Patton chased after Remy, obviously concerned about his wellbeing.

“Well, time to be getting that there bus back to that there city,”  
  


The quartermaster went past the remainders of the group, muttering to himself on the way to the bus. Virgil grabbed Logan’s arm and pulled him down to his level.

“Logan, that bus is our only chance out of here. Do you want to spend the rest of your summer at this godforsaken place or do you want to enjoy the sweet taste of freedom?”

The tie-wearing kid looked over at Gwen who was clutching her head and lying on the floor.

“Why did I get a liberal arts degree?”

A determined look made its way onto Logan’s usually stoic face.

“Let’s get out of here,”

Virgil kept a hold of Logan’s arm as his mouth contorted into a smile.

“Makin' a break for it?I can make a distraction for you,”

Finally letting go of Logan’s arm, Virgil turned to Remus.

“Why would you help us?”

Remus shrugged and pretended to twirl his drawn-on moustache.

“I'm an agent of chaos. Hey Patton!”

Patton, who was helping Remy off the ground, immediately dropped him, and turned to Remus.

“Yes, Remus?”  
  


Logan and Virgil waited for what the odd child was going to say as a distraction.

“How about you pick up our spirits with that camp song you won't shut up about?”

The counsellor’s eyes visibly lit up.

“Well, that's a great idea!”

Remy sat up from the floor with wide eyes.

“Oh, Jesus Christ no,”

The magical guitar was, once again, pulled out of nowhere and Patton started to strum.

“Oh, there's a place I know that's tucked away, a place where you and I can stay, where we can go to laugh and play and have adventures every day! I know it sounds hard to believe but kids and pals it's true, Camp Sanders is the place for me and- “

Patton was cut off by an unimpressed Remy.

“The kids are gone,”  
  


The knitted Virgil was now accompanied by a knitted Logan and Remus. Yet again, the Virgil fell flat on its face.

The three ran through the forest towards the bus, all three panting like dogs in the sun. Logan ran into a low hanging tree, causing leaves to get stuck in his fluffy hair. The group ran past the quartermaster, who was casually walking towards the bus.

“No running,”

Remy and Patton were close behind, Remy yelling ‘it sucks’ while Patton yelled a mixture of apologies. The two quickly left the quartermaster behind.

“No running,”

Virgil, Logan, and Remus could finally see the bus before them.

“There it is!”

Logan looked behind them to see Patton and Remy right on their tails.

“They're directly behind us,”

Like Logan, Virgil glanced behind them and couldn’t see Remy but only Patton who was desperately trying to reach them.

“Virgil, get back here! You are being a bad influence on our new campers!”

Patton tried to convince Virgil, but he should’ve known that he would respond with an over-dramatic ‘never!’

“Virgil, hurry!”

Patton’s hand got dangerously close to grabbing Virgil’s hood but luckily, Remus noticed before he could. The child grabbed his badge that Patton had given him earlier and threw it at Patton, hitting him in the face and causing him to go crashing to the floor. Remy then tripped over Patton and fell on top of the other counsellor with an ‘oof!’

Virgil and Remus laughed as the three hopped onto the bus.

“Remember this face, Patton, cause you'll never see it again!

The three drove away, Virgil laughing as they left the two counsellors, driving into the distance.

“I'm getting real tired of having to come up here, Patton,”

Patton, Remy, Virgil, Logan, and Remus stood next to a sheriff, the black car from earlier and a bus that had so obviously been crashed into something. Patton looked upset at the scolding he was receiving, Remy and Virgil looked mad and Logan and Remus looked slightly guilty.

“I know, Sal,”

The sheriff gave Patton a ticket and started to re-enter his car.

“We were so close!”

The sweet taste of freedom that was stripped away from Virgil made the boy bitter.

“Well, I mean in hindsight none of us really know how to drive,”

The sheriff eventually drove off, leaving Patton staring solemnly at ticket in his hands.

“Yeah, honestly Virgil, how far did you expect to make it?”

Remy shook his head, clearly done with the three for the summer.

“Imma be real, I just always wanted to drive a bus,”

All of Remus’ guilt he had a second ago vanished as he remembered how fun it was to crash the bus.

“Well kids, I hope we all learned something today,”

Patton had put away his ticket, trying to focus on the positive side of things.

“Oh, no. I hope _you_ learned, Patton. I hope you learned that before today, you only had one little bastard to deal with. But now you've got three. Let's go, guys. I'll take you to our tent,”

Virgil grabbed onto their arms and guided his two new friends towards their tent.

“Woohoo! This is gonna be awesome!”

Remus’ shouts of joy faded into the distance.

“This is gonna be awful,”

Patton gave Remy a playful punch on the back.

“Oh, come on Remy! Look at the bright side! Virgil made not one, not three, but two new friends today!

The joyous counsellor began to pull out his guitar but, before he was able to play it, Remy grabbed it out of his hands and began smacking him, successfully breaking the guitar. Patton screamed in either terror or pain as he was forced onto the floor.

They were in for one hell of a ride.


End file.
